Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
