I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
