i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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