the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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