his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
