Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
