everyone is single if you try hard enough
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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