hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
