Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
