i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
