Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.