So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.