he thought i was a dude.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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