Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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(303): View more from Colorado

idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.

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(626): View more from California

you didnt know i had herpes?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

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(561): View more from Florida

Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.

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