States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
