I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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