do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
