Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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