Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
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I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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