why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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