i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Bang-toberfest begins!!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
