Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Drake has all the answers
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
