We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
