My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
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I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
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sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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