Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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