I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
