Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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