Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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