Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
