Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
