Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i love accidental penises.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Pants are for mortals
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