he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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