I'm going to jail i love you
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
