i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
