We won't sleep together?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
