I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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