You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
