You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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