your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
