Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
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EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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