i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
