There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
