if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Mom said you looked used
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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