I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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