Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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