stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
