Where did you get a picture of my penis
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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