you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
