This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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