I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was not drunk enough for that final.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
