After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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