I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
