just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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