p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The uberlube is also flammable
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
