Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
