I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
