She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
now i know why i became what i already was.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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