I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
