Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
