when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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