just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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