I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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